(I image-googled "deflated" to find a photo that would properly demonstrate my FEELINGS but the results were very disturbing. Google at your own risk.)
Anyway I will forge ahead, mostly because my work day today consists of calling all of Wisconsin's 72 counties and I can make about five of those calls before my brain starts to go to sleep and I need a break.
I am feeling kind of discouraged at the moment because for the past two or three weeks (aka 75 percent of my training time, since I have only been at this for a month or so) all of my runs have sucked. They have rotated between feeling okay (not good, just okay) and feeling awful. My run on Tuesday was the worst yet. I went out to do around 4 miles and since it was going to be my last training run before the 5K Saturday I wanted to run at a little under a 9-minute-mile pace. That went well for the first 1.5 miles and then I just hit a wall and wanted to die. TO DIE.
I was running a new route that took me on what was technically a bike path but was actually a concrete strip running behind a bunch of stores and strip malls. About 2.5 miles of the run was on this thing so that was boring, and my legs felt really heavy and I couldn't breathe and it was HOT and HUMID and I just wanted to stop. I don't walk during runs ever, but this is the first time in a long time that I have actually wanted to. There was a moment about a mile from home where I had to pause to push the walk button to get across the street and I really enjoyed that pause. It was just awful.
Then last night I wanted to a super-easy 3.5 miles, just to get the bugs out before tomorrow's race. I ran on a treadmill in the ghetto fitness center in my apartment building because I just couldn't deal with the humidity again. I sped up consistently throughout the workout, starting at a 9:40 pace (which didn't feel good) and ending at an 8:54 pace (which also didn't feel good). Basically none of it feels good lately.
This is somewhat standard for me. When I go back to running after not running for awhile it feels good for about a week and then sucks for awhile before it gets better. But I can't remember it ever sucking for this long. I'm not going to stop running, obviously, because a) I am running a marathon in four and a half months and b) stopping will just mean I have to start again which will start the cycle over again. But it is hard to get jazzed to go out and run, or to increase my mileage, or to attempt speedwork when every run makes me feel like this:
Also I am now thinking there's a solid chance tomorrow's 5K is going to suck extra since all running seems to lately, but I am not really focusing on it because whatever. I'm running it either way. I pick up my race packet tonight and am excited to see if there are any other runners or packets there or if this is really just going to be me, a guy with a starting gun and my mom on the sideline. Oh well.
In other news, just to prove to you that I was not lying about the size of my shorts:
They're from American Apparel which should explain why they're basically underwear. I don't know what possessed me to buy these initially but I will say I am loving them in the current sauna that is Wisconsin. I also wanted to reiterate my love of running in cotton shirts. I know the following photos will make most of you recoil in horror:
But I feel like when I'm all sweaty and gross it reflects the fact that I am working my ass off. I am not sure I would feel as accomplished if I was in high-tech fabric that was sucking all my sweat up. On really hot days, I prefer running in wifebeaters (that's what I'm wearing in my leg-baring photo up there); also cotton, so light I can't feel I'm wearing anything, 97 percent cheaper than every sweat-wicking running top in the world. I realize this makes me an anomaly in the running world for sure, but I spent all of high school (and the rest of my running career, which started when I was 13) training competitively in cotton shirts and it was always fine. I will probably invest in some serious-runner tops at some point soon, just because it is going to be humid and gross here all the time and because they are cute. Probably I will then be addicted and I will hate all of you because I will go broke buying sweat-wicking tank tops. But for now, cotton it is! Feel free to persuade me in the comments. To be clear I am very curious about the sweat-wicking tops and would like to hear what you guys think :)
And now back to my phone calls...