Emails I've actually sent today

I like to compile these from time to time just as a reminder to myself of how ridiculous I am.

A series between me and my father:

Me:
remember those fun watchbands we found for my running watch in high school? what is the brand name? I want to order one.

Dad:
Oh boy, that's a test! Keva? Or something like that?

Me:
no! try again! THIS IS DRIVING ME BANANAS.

Dad:
I hardly remember what I did yesterday!

So then I decided to call Movin Shoes, because I was pretty sure that's where we got them. Mike, a sales guy we know, answered the phone, so I talked to him for like two minutes trying to make sure he knew who I was, then asked him about the watchband. He thought they were Timex, but apparently they don't sell them there, I don't know.

Me:
MY BOYFRIEND MIKE SAID HE THOUGHT IT WAS TIMEX BUT THEY DON'T SELL THEM THERE. where the hell did I get that watchband?!

Then I did more Googling and found the bands here. So Mike was wrong! WRONG. And then after all of that, I hated every single design on the site.

Me:
Unfortunately it looks like they're all fug now. All that research for nothing.

Dad:
"fug"

Me:
is that a question?

"f-ing ugly"
=fugly
=fug

Dad:
It was; I am not literate with all the social networking acronyms.

OH DAD. I did not have the heart, or really the motivation, to explain Mean Girls to him.



He's not really their target audience anyway, though we did see Rachel McAdams in Midnight in Paris last weekend so perhaps he would have been pleased to know more about her body of work. I don't know.

ANYWAY, so then I sent the following message to the Chums people:

Hi! So, I had one of your watchbands awhile ago and I LOVED it and I want to buy a new one, but (sorry) I kind of hate all the patterns that are available right now. Are there any others available or will there be soon? Okay let me know because I really want to buy one, like now. Thanks!

Then I sent this email to the spreadsheet guys that work for my company for help with a story:

Hello men,

My story for today is about costs for the Supreme Court recount here in Wisconsin. There are two spreadsheets I'd like to link to in the story. One is my own because I'm awesome and one is from the Government Accountability Board. Probably the easiest way to do this is via Google Docs, but [my editor] said I should ask you guys to do it. LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK and please don't ignore my email, I'm looking at you, [spreadsheet guy].

True to form they haven't answered my email. I am essentially done with work for the day but am probably going to have to sit here all day waiting for them to stop ignoring me. Life is hard.